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12-28-04: The Fonzie LP: Fonzie Favorites
I'd tell you to sit on it, but...
People love the Fonz. Needless to say, they loved him more back in the mid-70's, when Happy Days was still on the air (and before he literally jumped the shark). They plastered Henry Winkler's mug everywhere and quoted him like crazy, even though his catch phrases aren't funny at all unless Winkler himself is saying them.
Yes, indeed, people loved the Fonz. But did they love him enough to buy an LP called Fonzie Favorites? Entrepreneurial record executives at Ahed Music decided to find out, and released said album in 1976.
The album is a collection of 50's standards, mostly; included are Bobby Darin's Splish Splash, Jerry Lee Lewis' Great Balls of Fire, and I Only Have Eyes For You by The Flamingos, among (numerous) others. Not bad, as these things go. Also featured is the Happy Days theme, along with Bill Haley & The Comets' Rock Around The Clock, which once served as the original Happy Days theme.
The real kicker on the LP, though, is The Fonzarelli Slide, a truly hideous melody stuffed full of awful, dated quotes and nonsense from other ABC shows of the 70's, including Happy Days spinoff Laverne and Shirley and Welcome Back Kotter (cast members from all the shows inexplicably interact with one another; the Sweathogs, for instance, implore Fonzie to perform the so-called Fonzarelli Slide, and constantly spout their own lackwit catch phrases, like Barbarino's "Up your nose with a rubber hose!"). Bleah! Disgusting.
Also interesting is The Fonz Song by the cleverly-named Heyettes; this one mostly consists of a bunch of cheerleader-type backup singers shouting about how great Fonzie is ("He's the Fonz!" they explain). A short "impressionist track" is included at the end of the first side, meanwhile; its purpose is to help you learn Fonzie's catch phrases. Because, you know, "Aaaay", "Cool", "Nerd", and "Sit on it!" are real brain busters. (I found the inclusion of this track terrifying, incidentally. Fonzie's catch phrases are pretty harmless, but imagine if someone collected a bunch of Steve Urkel's or Joey Gladstone's gag-inducing expressions on a CD, for the express purpose of allowing listeners to better learn them. Ack! Claws on a chalkboard).
The album is decked out with a bunch of amusing explanations and bits of silliness; I think I'll let the pictures below speak for themselves.
