The great lament of live-action Sailor Moon fans everywhere, at least until the release of this video, was that there was no way to easily learn all of the amazingly awesomely spectacular dance moves depicted in the series (and especially in the live stage show put on by the actresses). The hideous despair of these poor souls, who desperately wanted to dance to songs such as "Here We Go!" and "Romance" but couldn't because no one had ever showed them the proper way to do it, was almost beyond imagination. "Please," they cried, "teach us how to bust up an oldskool Miyuu Sawai-style groove! We gotta represent!"





Okay, maybe not. Whatever. I probably shouldn't be too hard on this ridiculous piece of fluff; most of it is admittedly played pretty tongue-in-cheek (Sailor Luna's remark towards the beginning of the video -- that "dancing is certainly the mark of a true Sailor Soldier!" -- gives away the game), and snarkiness isn't much good when it's employed against something that isn't taking itself very seriously in the first place.

Miyuu Sawai (Usagi/Sailor Moon) and Mew Azama (Makoto/Sailor Jupiter) are our emcees for this seventeen-minute video (they remain in character the whole time), called Sailor Moon: Super Dance Lesson! They show up at the karaoke joint just in time to see Sailor Luna (I know I haven't gotten that far in my Sailor Moon episode reviews; just go with it), trip and fall down -- the poor lass, you see, had been attempting to imitate some tricky dance steps she had just watched the Sailor Soldiers expertly execute as part of the introduction sequence. Dancing around like a loon being an essential skill for someone in her line of work (everyone knows evil withers in the face of a well-choreographed dance routine), Sailor Luna realizes she needs more practice, and appeals to the girls, who promptly use their magical phones to change clothes. Now dressed appropriately, in weird plasticky outfits, the lessons commence.

Well, not really: before actually teaching us all how to dance to "Here We Go!", they energetically perform the number. Then the lesson starts: Mew Azama/Makoto explains to Sailor Luna all the little tricks necessary to properly dance to the tune (lots of jumping and arm waving, it seemed to me). She also goes to the trouble of warning all the uncoordinated kids in the audience not to step on their own feet. Thanks Makoto!





Next, we move on to "Romance". Miyuu Sawai/Usagi explains that this one consists of five parts, and issues an oblique challenge to the viewer to remember them all. Most of the entertainment in this scene derives from Ms. Sawai having to constantly sing the "baby, baby" part of the song, which is always a treat: her pronounciation is amusingly cute ("cute", actually, is the watchword for this one; she uses the word kawaii like three or four times in describing how to do the moves: "make sure to act cute!" "swing your hips cutely!"). Anyway, they perform the song after the lesson, then give a little speech about how practice makes perfect, then finally transform into their Sailor Soldier getups to sing the opening theme song of the series, whatever it's called.

That's about all. I really have nothing else to say about this sucker; it's pretty straightforward, and aside from the overall concept there's nothing particularly nutty about it (although like the series it is awfully saccharine, and tough to watch if your tolerance towards this sort of thing hasn't already been built up). Just figured I'd cover it for the sake of completeness.

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