This episode of He-Man and the Masters of the Universe posits the existence of Eternian sideshows. Considering that Eternia is a land populated by talking cats (Cringer), anthropomorphic bees (Buzz-Off), guys who can stretch their necks to absurd lengths (Mekaneck), guys with spring-loaded legs (Ram-Man), and citizens who regularly eschew pants in favor of fur underwear, this struck me as a pretty remarkable notion. What kind of freaks are on display in Eternian sideshows? Perfectly average human beings (wearing jeans and t-shirts), perhaps? "Ladies and gentlemen, prepare to feast your eyes on the incredible, sensational...pants-wearing man!"





Well, no. According to this episode, Eternians get a real kick out of giant monsters, animals, and guys who can shoot electricity out of their hands, despite the fact that all three of these things are a pretty common sight on their weirdo planet (let's face it, just about every character on this show can shoot lightning out of his hands, and giant monsters and animals are easy to find in (for example) the Old Vine Jungle...in fact, they tend to come looking for you). Oh well.

The episode begins at the Royal Palace. Prince Adam, Teela, Cringer, Orko, and a large crowd of oddly-dressed Eternian citizens (seriously; who drew these people?) are standing around watching a carnival/sideshow roll into town. The creatures of the sideshow are all on prominent display in glass cages: a giant motionless snake, a gorilla-like monster with a single horn on its forehead, and an ordinary-looking white cat. This cat, we soon learn, is a female called "Pretty Kitty", and is the star of the show. Cringer instantly falls in love with her.

The guy in charge of the sideshow is a menacing, bearded man with a snarly, raspy voice. With the attention of the crowd firmly fixed on his animal menagerie, he sneaks away and activates some kind of communication device. Surprise! Turns out this guy is actually Beast Man in disguise, doing the bidding of (who else?) Skeletor. Skeletor's plan this week is to use Pretty Kitty as bait to capture Cringer, Cringer as bait to capture Prince Adam, and Prince Adam as bait to capture (or, more likely, to kill) He-Man. This is pretty typical Skeletor overkill: putting an entire sideshow together just to capture one talking cat. (It's also another instance of Skeletor's tendency to risk a great deal by counting on others to behave in very specific ways -- in this case, his counting on Cringer to become infatuated with Pretty Kitty. If that hadn't happened in precisely the way that he expected, the whole plan would've fallen apart -- he would have gone to the trouble of arranging an entire sideshow for nothing).





Beast Man reassures Skeletor that everything is going according to plan: Cringer, he explains, has developed an "interest" in Pretty Kitty. Skeletor is pleased, but calls him a furbrain anyway. (Beast Man suffers about the usual amount of abuse in this episode, getting called a "furbrain", a "furface", and a "fleabag" at regular intervals, not only by Skeletor but also by Evil-Lyn. Man! Even He-Man and his pals aren't that cruel to the big oaf).

Meanwhile, Prince Adam and Teela and Cringer and Orko are enjoying the rest of the sideshow. "Look!" Teela exclaims, pointing towards a stage. "The Human Electrode!" The Electrode, a goofy-looking guy, zaps a few lightning bolts into the sky, which doesn't strike me as all that impressive in a world where, as I said, pretty much everyone can do that, but hey, that's his act. "Wow," Adam says. "That's the guy who can create electricity with his hands!" Uhh, yeah, Adam, thanks for pointing that out. Never would've figured that one out without you. (Upon seeing the Bearded Lady, Adam seems liable to remark, "Wow! That's the woman who has a beard!") Following this exchange, Orko proceeds to conjure up some pepper for some reason in a bid to outdo the Electrode's act, and winds up on fire or something (this is stupid, but believe it or not it actually becomes relevant later on).

The disguised Beast Man returns to the scene a moment or two later and introduces the crowd to his giant horned gorilla. Ever the showman, Beast Man thrills the crowd by releasing the creature from its cage and basically siccing it on Teela. It grabs her, but she's able to calm it down with some soothing words -- much to the relief of Man-At-Arms, who, believing that his daughter was in danger, fired up a lightsaber (?) and made as if to fight the monster. "Another trick like that and I'll have you banished from the kingdom!" the irritated Man-At-Arms warns. Beast Man grumbles a sort-of apology and gets on with the act, unleashing Pretty Kitty from her cage. PK's antics leave Cringer even more smitten. (It is perhaps worth pointing out that Pretty Kitty can't talk, and evinces no humanlike intelligence. Clearly Cringer is not interested in this babe's mind).

That night, Pretty Kitty appears outside Prince Adam's bedroom window while he's sleeping. Cringer, who sleeps on the floor in Adam's bedroom, is awakened to the sound of her growling and jumps out the window to meet her acquaintance. She quickly leads him back to the sideshow, where Beast Man easily captures him. "Next stop, Snake Mountain!" the hirsute villain announces.

The next day, Prince Adam and Man-At-Arms realize that Cringer is missing (he didn't show up for breakfast), and that his disappearance has conveniently coincided with the sideshow leaving town. Their suspicions are confirmed when Orko flies in to inform them that they've just received a handwritten message from Skeletor demanding that Prince Adam show up at Snake Mountain if he wants to see Cringer again. Adam quickly transforms into He-Man and rushes off to save the wayward cat.





At Snake Mountain, Skeletor, Evil-Lyn and Beast Man watch He-Man's approach (climbing up the mountain) on a crystal ball. (Skeletor activates this crystal ball by pressing a single red button situated on the armrest of his throne of bones, which I thought was kinda funny. It's not every day you see sophisticated technology built into thrones of bones). The trio is astonished at their good luck: they were expecting Prince Adam, not He-Man, but it was He-Man they were after all along anyway, so now they don't have to bother with capturing Adam as bait. "Our plan is working better than we expected," Beast Man slurps. "My plan, furface," Skeletor shrieks, "and don't you forget it!"

Evil-Lyn then expounds on the trap they've set for He-Man, for the benefit of the audience. Their brilliant plan? To have him fall through a trapdoor and into a pit containing a monster called the "Octobeast". Skeletor and his minions are confident that He-Man will not be able to overcome this creature. So...let me get this straight. The villains went to the trouble of setting up an entire sideshow (outfitting Beast Man with a disguise, inviting the renowned Human Electrode to perform for them) to capture Cringer, as a roundabout way of drawing He-Man to Snake Mountain...and all they've got in store for him on their home turf is a trapdoor and a single monster that he'll probably obliterate in a matter of seconds?

As confident as the villains are in this lame plan, they decide it couldn't hurt to send the horned gorilla from the sideshow after He-Man as well, while he's climbing up the mountain. The gorilla (they call it a "shadowbeast") manhandles our hero for a second or two, but is calmed once again by Teela, who has shown up on the scene looking for the missing Adam. He-Man continues up the mountain, while Teela proceeds to wander around getting into trouble. Inside Snake Mountain, He-Man rescues Cringer (who helps him avoid the Octobeast trap), and goes on to fight both Beast Man and Evil-Lyn (both battles are, of course, very brief and very poorly animated), before making his way to Skeletor's inner sanctum. There, Skeletor pulls that old cliched trick of making himself appear in a bunch of different mirrors and taunting He-Man about how he'll never guess which image of himself is the "real" one. He-Man solves the dilemma by throwing the pepper shaker that Orko conjured up back at the sideshow at his opponent, which for some unexplained reason he still happened to have on his person; the pepper causes Skeletor to sneeze and shatter all the mirrors. (...Which is pretty stupid, if you think about it. Skeletor doesn't have a nose; how could he inhale pepper? I guess you could try to argue that he still has functioning nasal passages or something, but the fact that the guy doesn't have any flesh on his face but is still somehow walking around would seem to suggest he's not bound by the usual rules of biology. Ehh, whatever; this stuff probably isn't worth contemplating).





He-Man, of course, fails to pursue Skeletor after he runs away; this is, sadly, typical. Instead, he finds and rescues Teela, who had managed to get herself captured by Evil-Lyn earlier. He informs her that he has Beast Man and Evil-Lyn both locked up in a cage somewhere. "Don't worry," Teela says. "I'll see that they get what's coming to them in an Eternian court of law!" Wait, what? An Eternian court of law? Eternia has a court system? And creatures like Evil-Lyn and Beast Man are processed in it? Oh, man.

Anyways, He-Man and Teela and Cringer make it back home, and everyone laughs at Orko after the pepper makes him sneeze again, and He-Man delivers the moral: some pablum about courage. So far as He-Man episodes go, it's pretty average...the whole sideshow angle is never really exploited, and the dreaded Octobeast, on which much of the story seems to hinge, never even appears (it probably would've cost too much to animate the thing). The focus on Cringer isn't all that interesting, either; he's basically just another dull comic relief character, like Orko and Ram-Man (always cracking some dumb joke). Not bad, not great.

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