This episode takes place on Valentine's Day. It's therefore schmaltzy beyond belief and resultingly boring to watch, especially for those folks (like me) who enjoy the goofy fight scenes and ridiculous Dark Kingdom schemes more than the teen soap opera aspect of the show (seriously, there's virtually no magical girl silliness to be found in this episode at all -- just more girlish pining and will our love ever blossom type music). Ah, well. I'll see what I can do.





Queen Beryl and her lackeys kick things off by wandering through a "gateway of darkness" to get a better look at the almost-revived Queen Metaria. Apparently, based on what we're shown here, Queen Metaria is an energy-emitting rock of some kind. I found this puzzling at first, and originally intended to make a few jokes about the rock's lack of queenly characteristics here, but later on realized that it's not really that bizarre in light of what we've already been shown: Jadeite and Nephrite and Zoisite sometimes revert back to chunks of rock after they've been drained of energy, after all. The assumption that Queen Metaria, a creature of similar composition, was herself drained of energy at some point in the past and is now in need of more to regain a humanish body, is therefore fairly sensible, I think. Relatively speaking.

Anyway, Queen Beryl lauds Nephrite and Jadeite for their hard work and sends them out to hunt down more energy. Kunzite remains and bickers with the Queen for a moment longer, finally telling her that he plans to step back and let Nephrite and Jadeite handle things for a while. The tension is palpable.

The whole rest of the show, except for a few moments at the end, is all teen soap opera crap. Usagi continues to fret and fuss over the muffler she made (haven't they spent that nickel yet?) while Makoto and Ami discuss her dilemma at Crown (they remind the audience that Usagi is still unaware that Mamoru is actually engaged). Rei, meanwhile, seeks out Minako in an effort to learn why she's such a loner.





Valentine's Day remains the central theme throughout. A young neighborhood girl, Hikari, visits the Tsukino household and asks Usagi for advice: though perhaps eight or nine years old, she says she's in love with a boy in her class, and wants to know if there is a special chocolate that will win his heart (in Japan, girls give chocolate and other presents to guys on Valentine's Day). Usagi takes her to the chocolate-selling place, and on the way learns that Hikari has some competition for the boy's affections: believe it or not, Mamoru's girlfriend Hina is the boy's tutor, and he has a crush on her! This coincidence (extremely annoying from a storytelling standpoint, I think you'll agree) turns Usagi and Hikari into staunch allies; they buy chocolate together and practically spit in Hina's face when they meet her and Mamoru on the street. (Okay, I'm exaggerating. Hikari grumpily declares afterwards that she's not going to lose out to "that woman", but they're not really outwardly rude to her).

Motoki, meanwhile, is depressed because he hasn't gotten anything from a girl yet. A bemused Makoto, perhaps out of pity, gives him the green muffler she made in class, which causes him to very nearly explode with excitement. Yeah, way to play it cool, pal.

Rei spends most of the episode tracking down Minako, arguing with Luna (she's beginning to suspect that something is up regarding the Princess; she can't figure out why Minako keeps putting herself in danger by being such a visible celebrity. Luna, of course, is of the opinion that the Princess can do no wrong and knows what she's doing), and avoiding the Valentine's Day nonsense (Rei's attitude towards men hovers somewhere between disdain and outright hostility). Minako herself doesn't get much screen time; she gives Artemis a silly Valentine's Day gift, but doesn't contribute much of anything to the plot.





Okay: back to Usagi and Hikari. The duo psyche themselves up for their meeting with Hikari's crush and Hina and Mamoru, but lose their nerve when they see them all together. Hikari begins crying, convinced that Hina has won out, but is soon reassured by Usagi and is provided with a happy ending (her crush happily accepts her gift). Usagi is less fortunate, and is left to wander the streets, but perks up when she hears a scream and sees a youma causing trouble. The youma, another sword-wielding purple freak of the same sort that we usually see on this show, proceeds to do battle with Usagi, who of course transforms into Sailor Moon for the duration. The "battle" rages on, until Tuxedo Mask intervenes and manages to distract the beast long enough for her to blast it into oblivion with her wand or whatever.

Afterwards, she speaks with Tuxedo Mask, conversing with him about her secret crush on Mamoru and eventually giving him a small box of chocolates that she bought. It's one of those awkward "secret identity" scenes that superheroes frequently find themselves in: Mamoru knows that Usagi is Sailor Moon and probably suspects that she has a crush on him, and Usagi is unaware that it's actually Mamoru she's talking to. Poor mixed-up kids. Anyway, the episode ends with another cliffhanger: it turns out Jadeite put together the youma (it looked like one of his rush jobs...) to distract Sailor Moon while Nephrite put the hurt on Sailor Venus. Rei catches up with Minako in an empty building, just as Nephrite is about to break her neck and steal her tiara. Ack!





Most of my reviews are a bit longer than this, I know. I make no apologies -- discussing in detail the romantic minutia of this sappy episode would have been more than I could bear, and any worthwhile observations I might have made about it -- stuff concerning the reinforcing of traditional female gender roles in Japanese society, for example -- would have undoubtedly bored the heck out of you and been largely inappropriate anyway. This is Sailor Moon we're talking about.

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