"So of course, I had to buy it." This is one of Ant's favorite phrases. Typically, he uses it after describing some incredibly outlandish and bizarre product to me, some weird item that he found on eBay or at some second-rate store somewhere. It's hard not to be impressed by the variety of strange, wacky, and occasionally unsettling merchandise he's acquired over the years: he's got a lot of stuff.

Today's bit of kitsch falls, I think you'll agree, into the "unsettling" category. I mean, look at it:





Yep. It's Bruce Campbell's face.

Bruce Campbell, of course, is one of the world's most gifted actors, famous for his roles in the Evil Dead series, his cameos in the Spider-Man flicks, and his myriad appearances in various cult and B-movies over the years (and shame on you if you didn't already know all this; watch more TV, ya freak!). He's got an enormous following; people love the guy. Maybe a little too much, judging from the existence of the item under discussion today.

Apparently, at some point in his life, Bruce sat down and submitted to a procedure that allowed some clever (and most likely deranged) entrepreneur to sell faintly creepy copies of his face to similarly deranged fans.

I say "faintly creepy" because the cast looks like a death mask. How could it not? One's eyes must be closed during the procedure lest goo get into them, and Bruce's expression (it's gotta be pretty damn hard to look natural when your face is covered with some kind of sticky, probably toxic glop) suggests the serenity of death has overtaken him.

I modify "creepy" with "faintly", though, because it's hard to be totally creeped out by the thing: Bruce looks weird here, to be sure, but he's wearing a half-smile as enigmatic as Mona Lisa's; there's a hint of comedy in his features that takes the edge off the creepiness. And, simply by virtue of this being Bruce Campbell's face and not, say, Michael Jackson's, I'm mostly able to excuse the pure strangeness of it (I seem to be running out of adjectives here; I guess there's only so many words one can use to describe something like this). In other words, Bruce's rougish charm comes through even in this medium.





As to the aesthetic appeal of his face itself, well, I'll leave that to the ladies to discuss. I will say, though, that the size and shape of his famously prominent chin are captured perfectly here. It's really something to behold.

Sometimes Ant puts his red Parappa the Rapper ski cap on Bruce's head. Hours of mirth inevitably follow!

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