Writing these episode reviews is becoming increasingly difficult for me. The focus over the last few episodes or so has shifted almost completely from weird youma to mawkish, tiresome romantic drivel: the girls hardly ever even transform anymore. Making fun of a youma who has a propeller for a face and lives in another dimension is pretty easy; making snarky comments about the earnest (though puerile) teen romance aspect of the show, meanwhile, is practically impossible. (At least for me; maybe a really cynical person could rip it apart, but I'm afraid I just don't have the heart). Besides, it's not like the romantic stuff is out of place here or anything; I imagine the show's core audience of twelve year-old girls really goes in for this junk. Which makes taking jokey cheap shots at the romantic entanglements a pretty pointless (not to mention unfair) endeavor.





Additionally, one starts to take for granted most of the creatively bizarre elements of the show after a while. Yes, Luna is a terribly-puppeteered stuffed cat. Yes, Queen Beryl is an insensible lunatic surrounded by fashion-challenged, incompetent henchdudes. Once you've hit these notes, however, there isn't a whole lot left to comment on, which is why these reviews of mine are getting shorter and shorter. I'm sorry to say that this review may very well end up being the last one I write, unless I am somehow convinced to continue by the few folks who actually read these things (in that case, I suppose I will struggle on as well as I can).

Anyway, this one begins with Sailor Venus being manhandled by Nephrite, who has finally tracked her down (by following her alter ego around, as we saw in the previous episode). He snatches her tiara -- he assumes the crystal set within it is the Mystical Silver Crystal -- and does "battle" with Sailor Mars when she shows up to help (Rei attempts to cartwheel her way to victory, but the devilishly clever Nephrite avoids her attack by employing a brilliant "step out of the way" strategy). Just as he's about to escape, however, Venus suddenly gets up, points a finger at the tiara he's holding, and causes it to explode. She explains, with an impish wink and grin, that she's got a ton of tiaras and crystals and wouldn't ever be so stupidly careless as to allow the real one to fall into Nephrite's hands. Could've fooled me -- it's not like she was doing such a great job keeping Nephrite's greasy paws off of her.

Afterwards, Rei and Minako chat a bit about why Minako keeps leaving herself open to these attacks by being such a visible pop star (I think). Rei almost voices her suspicion that Minako isn't the princess at all, but Minako cuts her off before she can finish the thought. She tells Rei to work on being a better Sailor Soldier or something, then wanders off to have another dizzy spell (by now it's clear that Minako is seriously ill, but the show doesn't give us any more concrete information about her condition for a while).





Kunzite watches the exchange from some distance away, then ominously declares that he wants a Sailor Soldier of his own. Cut to Ami, who is hanging out all alone at Crown, knitting her life away and lamenting the fact that everyone seems to be going their own way lately -- it's pretty obvious she's in for a rough time.

The Dark Kingdom goons are featured in the next scene. They are, of course, doing what they do best: grovelling and begging for forgiveness from the Queen while bickering incessantly and acting smug and condescending towards one another. Kunzite hints very heavily here that Sailor Venus isn't really the Princess at all and doesn't have the Mystical Silver MacGuffin in her possession; the theory floors Jadeite and Nephrite, who obviously weren't hired for their ability to think outside the box. The Queen, true to form, merely mutters a few airheaded lines, as if she is having trouble following the conversation (maybe she's just high on something).

Back at Crown, Makoto stops in to talk with Ami, briefly, about Usagi and her unacceptable crush on the engaged Mamoru. She resolves to tell Usagi about Mamoru and Hina's engagement (after ostensibly "consulting" with Ami about it), then rushes off to find her. Rei shows up at Crown next, and talks grandly about how she's going to start working harder as a Sailor Soldier before rushing off like Makoto and leaving Ami high and dry. (Rei is less than sociable, but hey, at least she's taking her job seriously. I mean, isn't the world in some kind of danger? I'm forced to conclude that the situation is probably less worrisome than we've been led to believe; after all, Usagi (as we're shown in the next scene) appears to spend most of her time fondling the muffler she made for Mamoru and pining away for him -- if the situation was really so grim, I'm sure she would devote herself more completely to the amazing role she plays in combatting ancient evils from ancient Moon Kingdoms).





Usagi's wearisome pining is interrupted by Hikari, the young girl from the previous (Valentine's Day) episode. She's planning a date with Daiichi, whose heart she won with chocolates on that occasion, but since they're just kids they can't really go anywhere by themselves, so she asks Usagi to chaperone them to the park or some place. She also mentions that Mamoru is coming along as well, sans Hina -- so it'll be a double date. "Double-ooh date-oh?" Usagi asks. But she agrees. (For now I'll let slide that most nine year-old boys think girls are cootie-ridden annoyances and wouldn't be caught dead going out on chaperoned "dates" with them).

The subsequent scene at the park goes on for a while -- the foursome play badmiton, jump around on playground equipment, and have a picnic, all while an upbeat pop song (sung, of course, by the multi-talented Miyuu Sawai herself) plays in the background. Usagi's inner monologue is heard constantly; she frets about what Mamoru thinks of her and debates whether or not to give him the muffler she made (which she brought along to the park). Meanwhile, a disguised Makoto follows them around, hoping to tell Usagi about Mamoru's engagement before she gets her hopes up too high.

While all this is going on, Rei is busy chasing down various youma -- Scarecrow-Ninja, Propeller-Face, Rubber-Ball, Cactus-Man, and Clay-Dude (last seen way back in episode two) keep popping into existence and disappearing before they can be dealt with. Seeing these distinictive youma back in action brought a smile to my face; the last dozen or so youma that have appeared on this show have been generic purple-and-black numbers with no personality whatsoever. Anyway, Rei quickly deduces that these youma are simply illusions, intended to distract them...but for what purpose? Cut to Ami, who is still knitting away all alone back at Crown. Uh-oh.

Elsewhere, the nice afternoon at the park comes to a screeching halt when Hina shows up just as Usagi is about to give Mamoru her muffler. Daiichi mentions that the two are engaged, and so the cat is out of the bag -- Usagi finds some excuse and gets the heck out of there, probably feeling a little hurt and humiliated (she also leaves because the youma illusions keep appearing near her as well, and obviously have to be dealt with -- though, unsurprisingly, this seems to be a secondary concern). Makoto, still spying on Mamoru, watches him transform (I guess) into Tuxedo Mask, and confronts him before he can catch up with Usagi and help her with the illusions. (The illusions end up vanishing after a moment, just as Usagi finishes her own transformation sequence -- bummer!)





Finally, Ami leaves Crown, and is surprised in the street by Kunzite. He threatens her, and as Sailor Mercury she attacks, using a deadly cartwheel technique no doubt learned from Rei. Unfortunately, Kunzite nullifies the attack by stepping out of the way (where do these Dark Kingdom guys learn these incredible tactics?) and proceeds to block her magical Shining Aqua Illusion and Mercury Aqua Mist attacks with his sword as well. Why Ami seems taken aback by this is quite beyond me; Kunzite has repeatedly showcased his total protection from virtually all Sailor attacks on numerous occasions.

At last he uses some magic trick to make his sword glow purple, then shoots some weird cloudy energy at her with it, which envelops her. She goes into a trance, and we're treated to some "poignant" shots of the articles of clothing she had only just finished knitting moments before as the screen fades to black. Why he never bothered to pull this trick on any of the Sailor Soldiers before now remains anyone's guess.

It's a somewhat entertaining episode, with more than a few twists -- Makoto figuring out Mamoru's superhero identity and Ami getting zapped by Kunzite are obviously pretty important events in the long run. On the other hand, Usagi and Mamoru's plot isn't exactly crazy-exciting, and the drawing-out of the whole Princess mystery is starting to get a little annoying. When are these people going to get down to business and start saving the world?

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